Where it all began!

In 1986 I bought the rights to the sun for 50 trillion bucks. I bought it from myself because I was the first person in history to have the snap to claim it. I own the sun's energy, yesterday, today and tomorrow, so if you know anybody who has or ever had a tan, it belongs to SOLARGE.

THE SOLARGE CORPORATION:
...formed the Everywhere Regional Atmospheric NonCooperative to serve the public need to breathe clean air, but air pollution represents the "good life" so we aren't too interested.

...is a family farm and we are working on the rights to the world's grain, oil and mineral supply so we can lower the prices of food, energy and commodities to consumers. Prices are already too high? We know you'll pay anyway.

...bought the rights to Heaven. Your prayers to God go through Solarge space and you need to pay. Remember, you're not okay without Cash, and you are just no good without God, so you owe Solarge. Make checks payable to MercyBuck Medical ChurchBank. We sell it like it is.

..has noticed (haven't you?) how government and business are getting along so well? It's the movement of executives in and out of bureaucracies. Solarge is going to buy the states of Texas, Okla, Louisiana and Arkansas, since the nation as a whole is actually owned by a few very weathly individuals already, so in order to give the appearance of public ownership without appearing like a Socialist state we are simply initiating the trend of the future.

...announces friendly leveraged buyout of the United States Bureaucracy, and the establishment of corporate headquarters in a soon to be vacant pentagonally shaped office building in Arlington, Virginia, for the tidy sum of $50 billion. We issued a lot of junk bonds so please invest heavily in the market, insurance company, bank or pension plan of your choice. Any corporations wishing to buy particular agencies or bureacracies are respectfully requested to wait six months. Do not request the treasury, since it is ours, the Federal Reserve, since it is already privately owned, or the military because it is a tax write-off.

...knows that so many nondescript ordinary citizens will be okay with the aforementioned buyout because everyone is now a vice president of the world's largest employee owned corporation. As an ASSOCIATE, everyone has a say in what goes on, and we insist that you follow along, adopt the party line, get information, and stay in formation. We have perfected management and have plans for perfecting your government. Now, some will say this merging of government and business is FASCISM, but it is only DEREGULATION and nothing to be afraid of. Remember, you will all be VICE PRESIDENTS, and as such will profit when the corporation profits, or vice versa.

...won't do solar energy for the individual consumer because it takes you off the grid and we can't meter your use. That's why we bought the rights to the sun's energy and bill you a flat rate because we know you'll sneak it when no one is looking. If you don't pay your bills, we'll turn the energy down and cool the planet and blow all those hot theories about global warming.

...knows that other big biz won't develop solar energy because they have to pay us huge royalties they don't want to pay. We just tell them to go buy their own sun, which they can't bring here because our boys in Congress will pass a non-competition law that protects your only sun.

...formed its own surreal estate business called Bucksville Intergalactic in order to advertising the planet to off-planet corporations. We could sell out, of course, for a price, and we could lose our rights to live on this planet, but since SOLARGE owns the rights to the energy of the sun, We, at least, will continue to profit by leasing the energy to the new owners.