The Solarge Corporation BAdsheet

3/86
FOR SALE: The rights to the energy of the sun. For the rest of this century you can get in on the hottest acquisition in the solar system. Bring 50 quadrillion bucks (cash and gold) to Box B, Bucksville, collection agency for the Solarge Corporation.

9/16/87
The Solarge Corporation, a subsidiary of Box B, Bucksville, is pleased to announce the formation of its new utility, the Everywhere Regional Atmospheric NonCooperative, to serve the growing public need for breathable air. Because indoor pollution, garbage incineration, acidic fog and organo-chemical mists are part of the "good life," we support your unalienable right to breathe freely. So, for a price, fresh non-toxic air will be piped to your home. Available in scents and nonscents. Remember, at Solarge, it's "Better living through chemystery."

8/17/88
IMPORTANT NOTICE: The Family Farm Corporation, a subsidiary of Box B, Bucksville, a subsidiary of Bucksville International, a subsidiary of the Solarge Corporation, a subsidiary of Bucksville Intergalactic, has acquired the entire world's grain, oil and mineral supply in order to lower the price of food, energy and commodities to consumers. There will be a short six year delay in deliveries while a new office building is constructed, so hang in there and drink lots of water. Address all orders and complaints to Box B, Bucksville.

8/17/88
FOR SALE: Used planet. Burns oil, needs some work. Even though she's been driven hard, she has only 2.8 zillion original miles and billions of tons of minerals and resources left! If you would like to drill this baby through the galaxy while discussing terms with the current owner, call The Solarge Corporation for appointment, c/o Box B, Bucksville.

12/1/89
The Solarge Corporation, owner and controller of the energy of the sun, will purchase the states of Arkansas, Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico and Arizona in a move that will undoubtedly prompt corporate ownership of the remainder of the USA. A spokesperson for Solarge says, "The nation as a whole is actually owned by a few very wealthy individuals already, so in order to give the appearance of public ownership without appearing like a socialist state, we initiate the trend of the future." Pay your bill for solar energy on time or we will turn it off. The Solarge Corporation, a subsidiary of Bucksville Intergalactic and Collection Agency for Box B, Bucksville.

1/19/90
The Solarge Corporation announces friendly leveraged buyout of the United States Bureaucracy and the establishment of corporate headquarters in a soon to be vacant pentagonally shaped office building in Arlington, Virginia, for the tidy sum of $50 billion. This represents a lot of borrowed junk bonds so please invest heavily in the market, insurance company, bank or pension plan of your choice. Any corporations wishing to buy particular agencies or bureacracies are respectfully requested to wait six months. Do not request the treasury, since it is ours, the Federal Reserve, since it is already privately owned, or the military, because we need it as a tax write-off. The Solarge Corporation is owner and controller of the world's solar energy and collection agency for Box B, Bucksville.

1/26/90
The Solarge Corporation is wholey happy to announce that it has purchased and incorporated the near heavens and attendant angels and has negotiated contracts with the major gods for control of the world's religions, henceforth known as Church Corporation, which offers all popular icons, books, beliefs, services and collection personnel to complement the American worship style. Remember, you're not okay without cash, and you're just no good without God, and regardless of your religious upbringing you will find articles of faith you can afford at Chruch Corporation, headquartered at St. Paul's Mall, a for-profit incorporation of heaven and Earth, and a subsidiary of God, Incorporated, a subsidiary of the Solarge Corporation and collection agency for Box B, Bucksville who sells it like it is.

3/9/90
Tired of being just a nondescript citizen of a huge bureacratically controlled country where you have no clout? The Solarge Corporation, owner and controller of the world's solar energy and atmosphere, proposes purchase and control of all bureaus, and all citizens will become vice presidents of the world's largest employee-owned corporation. As an associate officer you will have a say in the decision making process that we propose you agree on. Since the Solarge Corporation has management perfected, we have plans for perfecting your government. This is not a Fascist idea, we call it Deregulation. For your brochure of vice presidential responsibilities and liabilities, send $50 to Box B, Bucksville.

5/18/90
The Solarge Corporation, owner and controller of the world's solar energy, refuses any knowledge or harmful effects of solar radiation to industry, cars or jobs. The sun has been shining on plants and animals for millions of years and has never caused cancer or other skin problems and if such should start to happen now, The Solarge Corporation hereby disclaims any and all responsibility for your sunburn. This corporation didn't get so large giving money away, and your $50 monthly payment is past due at our collection Box B, Bucksville.

6/8/90
The Solarge Corporation, purveyors of the finest solar emanations, wishes you to think warm and not be fooled by chilly blasts of global warming. Cold is the absence of heat, so growing glaciers means there must B hot air somewhere. Eat, drink, and be merry while you buy our line of fine solar enjoyment enhancing products. Think global warmingly, act locoly. Sooner than later you'll get down to the Greenback Effect and Box B Cool, Bucksville.