SAFTERNOON (from) American English. Contraction of "this afternoon." Reference to a period of time after lunch and before dinner. For example, "Thanks for brunch, Dear. I'll see you the safternoon."

SALT (from) the taste of the upper class. The surest way to predictably raise the blood pressure of laboratory animals. A non-food chemical preservative prepared by mixing explosive sodium with poisonous chlorine gas.

SANTA CLAUS (from) Dutch, unexplained shortening of Saint Nicholas, the patron saint of children. America's (my) favorite hero. He works one day a year, is expected to sneak into homes, never changes clothes, is overweight, hires non-union minority labor, has no insurance or FAA approval for a sleigh that he runs without lights at night, flies behind the reindeer rather than in front, has long hair, a beard, and heaven knows what he smokes in that pipe! He flies south from the north pole, something the Pentagon admits may be impossible because of how polar magnetism affects missile guidance systems! With the deployment of Star Wars technology, Santa will probably be shot down, start World War 3, or both.

SATAN (from) Hebrew, to accuse. Born of the need to blame ones' selfish actions on someone else, Satan represents attitudes that we would just as soon kill someone else for having as admit that we have them ourselves. To accuse others of Satanic deeds and thoughts is the honor of the self-righteous who may pride themselves on being pious and holy, especially on Sundays. Remember, it's the accuser who is at fault. Incidentally, it's awfully similar to Santa, and an acronym for Scientifically And Technologically Advanced Nations.

SATIETY (from) Latin satis, enough. More than enough.

SAVE (from) Commerce. An invitation to spend. Another antietymopathism.

SAVIOR (from) Late Latin salvare, to save. ("From what" implied.) In the last 2,000 years indigenous cultures of peaceful self-sufficient peoples all over the world have been attacked and destroyed by a late great Roman religion in order to be converted and saved from their sinful heathen ways. If all the people in the world became dependent on the savior of only 6% of the world's people, the great diversity that makes this planet so beautiful would be lost. If, through no fault of their own, those waiting for their saviors are abandoned by the gods, then they might realize that -- "We are all saviors with no one to save, save ourselves." -- Dan Vega

SCIENCE (from) Latin scire, to know. Knowledge gained through experience (experiments). The biological sciences have discovered that the proof of life is death. If an organism can be experimentally killed in the lab, it was alive. The veterinary sciences know more about the proper care and feeding of guinea pigs than the medical sciences know about the care and feeding of the human. Medical science has discovered that there may be a link between improper diet and disease, but has yet to discover experiments that may be performed in the lab to satisfactorily determine the proper diet for humans.

"Science has done its utmost to prevent whatever science has done." -- Sir William Gilbert, 16th Century, the "Father of Science"

SCIENTIST (from) Laboratories with little smoking flasks. There are two kinds: the conformist who espouses the rhetoric and theories as taught by The Establishment, and the non-conformist who displays an open mind and discovers things anew. The former gets funding from the drug, chemical, oil, and weapons companies in order to ride the elevator to material success, the latter gets the shaft.

SCORE (from) Old Norse skor, notch, twenty. What guys in uniforms do in the fields and arenas, and out of uniform do in the bars. Notcherally, it would be nice to score about twenty times a month.

SECURITY (from) Latin se-, without + cura, care. Formerly, the peace of mind brought about by lock and key of such strength that theives cannot break through to steal. As the relative value of hidden treasure changes, and the amounts the wealthy will have hoarded increase, security will be the inability of even a clever thief to carry it away.

SELF (from) Sanscrit sva, one's own. That part of our lives we give up when we join the typical mass movement. Self-enlightenment, self-awareness, self-mastery, self-control, self-improvement, self-help, and self-education are some of the catchwords used to draw converts to a whole new psychology of self-understanding. It sounds rather like a balancing act to self-sacrifice, doesn't it? (Look at the definition of sacrifice again.) When do we get off the self-satisfaction kick and start being good neighbors, concerned citizens, successful gardeners, total parents to our children, and able to live with our own parents when they are not able to take care of themselves anymore? We have to come around to a balance here between what we need for ourselves and what the rest of the world around us needs. The less we need, the wealthier we are! Lucky for me I did not have to spend $1700 at a seminar in California to learn it. I got it mail order for just fifty bucks!

"He who understands others is learned. He who knows himself is wise." -- Lao Tsu

SENSE (from) Latin sensus, from sentire, to perceive by senses, to feel. Why do I feel distrustful of claims that the information on census forms is confidential?

SERVE (from) Latin servus, slave. To spend time, as in prison or Congress. To copulate with, used with male animals: "The buck served the doe." To promote the interests of. See comment at CONGRESS.

"Both major parties today seek to serve the national interest" -- John F. Kennedy

"The person who can make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass grow on the spot where only one grew before would deserve better of mankind, and render more essential service to the country, than the whole race of politicians put together." -- Swift

"I do not know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: The only ones among you who will really be happy are those who have sought and found how to serve." -- Albert Schweitzer

SEWAGE (from) Middle English sewer (from) Norman French sever(e) (from) Vulgar Latin exaquaria: (from) Latin ex-, out of + aqua, water. Solid and liquid wastes carried off with ground water in sewers. Because of the American habit of dumping wastes into water, we will soon be sewage (out of water).

SEX (from) Latin sexus (of obscure origin?). Something we were born with, didn't have to learn to want, and wanted to learn as soon as we found out we could.

SINCE (from) Old English siththan, "after that." Since I trust my senses, I'll not incense any census taker that might bring the censor down on my asset.

SINISTER (from) Latin, on the left. Troublesome, evil. This word was originally used by high priests in ancient Rome in the language of divination. They must have been afraid of things on their left sides, or were totally right-handed already. As a consequence, writing left-handed is sinister. Children that try to write with the left hand should have that hand slapped until they write right. Right? The medical profession still uses the word sinister to indicate the left side of the human body, and doctors write prescriptions with their right hands in Latin so we can't read them. Come to think of it, I have never met a left-handed doctor.

SIX (from) IndoEuropean sweks, seks. How were numbers arranged, and why, and when? And why doesn't my dictionary mention that it has the same origin as the word sex? Perhaps because we only have one sex at a time?

SIX SIX SIX (666) (from) Three sixes at a time. A sacred number to the Goddess. It was necessary for Christianity to make an unholy number of it because of a widespread Pagan belief. It still is holy to some.

SOIL (from) Latin solum, base, ground. What our real economy used to be based on before "modern agriculture" washed it off into the oceans.

SOLARGE COLLECTOR (from) Solar Commerce. A collection agency operating as a subsidiary of The Solarge Corporation which purchased the rights to solar energy that reaches our planet. It's a great idea but the trouble is collecting from the billions of users.

SOMEDAY (from) lack of having today. For example, "If I'm lucky, today won't be the 'someday' I promised somebody sometime in the past."

SOPHISTICATE (from) Greek sophizesthai, to play subtle tricks. To corrupt or pervert; adulterate. Would it bother wealthy sophisticates to know that the term has mostly been used derogatorily? Of course not.

SOUL (from) Common Germanic saiwalo, the animating nature that Caucasians need more of. That part of the human that struggles hardest against bondage.

SPACE EXPLORATION (from) the mistaken notion that we need to get off this planet due to a "greenhouse effect" that is cooking it. According to the "space brothers," we will not be allowed off this Earth until we totally give up our warlike ways.

SPEEDFORGETTING (from) Box B, Bucksville. Natural ways to not remember all those things in life not worth remembering, like The Bureaucracy and massive college degrees, but I don't remember what for. It certainly helps that history is periodically rewritten. Return to Knowledge.

"It is sometimes expedient to forget who we are." -- Publilius Syrus (c. 42 B.C.)

SPIRIT (from) Latin spiritus, breath, inspiration, (from) spirare, to breathe. The vital or animating nature of living beings. Not to be confused with the old belief that minerals do not contain life, for all things live! The power that spins electrons around the nucleus of an atom is the same power that hangs the stars in the sky. Any motion in the universe is inexplicably connected to all other motion, and all life is undeniably connected by love. (The spirit moves me!) Take a deep breath. It feels good to inspire, eh? Totally exhale. A few more deep breaths and the improved oxygen content of your blood should soon improve your spirits! If it doesn't, it's not my fault.

SPORT (from) Middle English sporten, to amuse, divert, short for disporten, < Latin dis-, apart + porter, to carry, port. Sports were originally a diversion, presumably played by the common folk as a chance to escape the mundane. The big interest put on professional sports is no longer amusing to me when I see academia diverting important monies from education to athletics. While the average ability of American youth drops, the kids have at least learned not to drop the ball.

STARK (from) Old English stearc, stern, cruel. Utterly; entirely: as in stark raving mad and stark naked. The IndoEuropean origin is ster-, stiff. Other words from the same origin include starch, steroid, stork and cholesterol. The extended form in Old English is steorfan, to die ("to become rigid"): starve; and in Latin is torpere, to be stiff: torpedo. An excellent name for a warship which stood naked in the Persian Gulf and produced stiffs when torpedoed.

STATESMANSHIP (from) Latin status, manner of standing. A necessary leadership that women are ultimately better at.

"Honest statesmanship is the wise employment of individual meannesses for the public good." -- Abraham Lincoln

STATESWOMANSHIP - It's a little harder to say, but it means a better way to live.

STATUS QUO (from) Latin "state in which." A mess.

STOCK (from) Old English stocc, tree trunk. A versatile word that runs the gamut of relative stability, from the trunk or main stem of a tree, to the volatile shares traded on Wall Street. For example, "The stock market fell today as profit takers chopped at their stock."

STOMACH PUMP (from) Gluttony. A sucking apparatus that allows us the freedom to suck down three dinners before dessert.

STRESS (from) Latin strictus, to draw tight, from stringere, to tighten. If I'm not mistaken, the number one stress in this country is worry over money, and the major result is widespread disease. If we don't make an effort to draw tight our purse strings, we are tempted to spend our money frivolously in order to lessen the stress of not having it.

STUMBLING BLOCK (from) walking in the dark. A stepping stone to those who walk in the light.

STUN GUN (from) fear. Nug nuts backwards.

SUBLIMINAL (from) Latin sub- below + limin, threshold. Stimuli below our ability to consciously perceive it. Recent polls conducted among business and community leaders revealed that over ninety percent of them that had heard of sublimation believed the techniques to be illegal. Even though many laws that would have prohibited sublimation in advertising were introduced to the U. S. Congress in 1957 and 1958, no such laws were enacted. Ever wonder why we buy what we buy, do what we do, etc., even when there seems to be no reasonable or rational explanation for it? I don't.

SUCKLE (from) Old English sucan, suck. A disgusting breast habit of young mammalia. Another mistake of Mother Nature who did not anticipate that Humans would develop superior plastic nipples and baby formulas thereby negating the need for women to be equipped with mammary glands, except for the pleasure of men.

SUFFRAGE (from) Latin, vote. Confused with the "right" for women to suffer.

"Universal suffrage, without universal education, would be a curse." -- H. L. Wayland

SUPERSTITION (from) Latin super-, over + stare, to stand. An unreasonable belief. For example, "My astrologer told me I am not superstitious, and by God I believe her!"

"When you believe in things that you don't understand then you suffer. Superstition ain't the way." -- Stevie Wonder

"The narrower the range of man's knowledge of physical causes, the wider is the field which he has to fill up with hypothetical causes of a metaphysical or supernatural character." -- Andrew Lang

SUPURBAN (from) sup, to eat + urban, city. To have dinner in town.