VACUUM Cleaner parts: Box S, Sucksville.
JOB OPPORTUNITY: Extension Contractors needed to enlarge small jobs. Must be able to stretch wide narrows and fill long shorts. Complete experience required. Resume where you left off at Box B, Bucksville.
The Underwear Police are looking for a few good jocks.
BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY: Mail order kisses and hugs. Hold yourself and a friend to this amazing offer and prosper. Love, Box B, Bucksville.
MUSICIANS needed for chamber-pot orchestra. Must be familiar with wind instruments. Contact (if you dare) Joe Blow, Box B, Blowsville.
HEY GIRLS! There's a new hunk on the staff here who's single, tan and gorgeous, so lay off while we lay on. The women at Box I, Gropephville.
BUY YOUR OWN PRESSBOX! Wanna see the inside of the game? Need penthouse luxury to press all those autumn flowers? Razorbuck Realtors can set you up with the finest in high altitude spread in order to get maximum view. Get on the ball, if that's your game, and see the Pressbox. Contact Pandora, PressBox B, Bucksville.
Hey guys and gals, if you're gonna rub her, or lay Tex, better get some rubber bang aids. Have 666 different latex devices in 69 different off colors. Specials this month on Silly Cone, Condominimums, and the Gossamer Goose. One fit sizes all! Contact Lay Techs c/o Box F, *ucksville.
YUPPISTS: Got money to burn? I have art you can burn! Exotic wood and paper sculptures with strategic kitchen match inserts are the hottest item going this season. The smoke screen is down and I reveal the flamboyant pyro with the artistic torch. I am self-employed, so I can't be fired. Come on buy and we'll fire one up. Basic Vagrant Art Studios next door to Box B, Bucksville.
The Liberal Agnostic Environmental Leftists of the Druidic Communal Hippie Atheists are pleased to announce that the Vegetarian Native Primitive Heathen Pagan Secular Humanistic Day Care Coven is now willing to attempt rehabilitation of prescription drug crazed White Nazi Fascist children of violent dog fearing militaristic Capitalist Consumers addicted to television, tobacco, alcohol and beef. Leave them in a plain brown straight jacket next door to Box B, Bucksville.
NEED SEXERCISE? Having trouble finding a position that causes ultimate satisfaction? No problem. Madam Butch will take your money and you will get off in no time, or half your money back. Remember, NO PAIN, NO PROBLEM.
Are you gravely serious about your fractured humerus or porotic funny bone? Is your haw low or your hokum brokum? If you are laughlorn and your brevity of levity cannot be relieved by reruns of She-Haw, call on the Super Silly Us to introduce you to psychedelicious halucidations brought on by epic portions of HawHawthorne, HoHomer and HeHe-Man. One stiff laugh does not make you a guffaholic so follow the fried pieper to the Box of Fun B, Bucksville.
KegLikker Brewing Company announces two new pheromonic sexually directed beers in anatomically correct containers. For the gals, PizzleGruber in Schlongnecks, and for the guys, Muflicher in vulvaloid glass. Available at Bocks B, Beersville.
Had your fill of Razorstuff? Need to take a big post-season dump? You need a healthy dose of Razorlax. Got too heavy a coat of Razorwax on your Buick? Need help getting your Razorwax off? Don't come snooping around Box B for any answers.
Lost your hard disk drive? Do you have floppy disks and want to upgrade to a predictable hard disk? Stop buy for FREE Insultation. Better yet, bring megabucks and a party to your Sugar Data at Box B, Bucksville.
Computer intercourse transmits viruses so, to protect your Macintosh computer from computer AIDS, you better put on a MacRubber, available for hard disks only since it is impossible to put a MacRubber on a floppy disk. Please practice safe modem operandi. Come see your Sugar Data at Box B, Bucksville.
NOTICE horny violent woosies. If some vicious bitch is kicking the shit out of your macho ego, call the Rapist Crisis Hot Line for masculine counseling. Open weakly next door to Box B, Bucksville.
OPEN THE VISION of your red eye and know the blessings of hind sight. Discover the fears that put you in arrears. For a full moon shine on the Lunatrick, send 50 whacks and weighn to Box B, Buttsville.
Dysclamor: these materials are not endorsed, approved, sponsored or provided by or on behalf of the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville.
Last updated 2/8/2018