The Lemming Travel Agency invites you to take the Disaster Vacation of a Lifetime. Through November you may choose from Burning Hotel Bungy Jumping, Titanic Float Trips, the Donner Pass Picnic, Go Cartel Rides in Bogota, and the Captain Ahab Whaleride to Atlantis. Convenient one-way fares mean lower cost vacations for you. Prayer books available at Box B, Bucksville.
NEW: Steel wool from 100% sheepmetal, iron ox sides for cattle painters, Nutraswill Hog Chow, Choco-Beef Bon Bons, Bova Cola, and solar powered night-vision glasses to help you find your way out of the dark and into the light of slower pricers ever day at Box B, Bucksville.
Chip Peels Paint and Wallpaper announces partnership with 90% Construction Company, proud swingers of NWA's only cordless 220 volt British Electric Hammer, to offer semi-fine custom homes of R-rated 100% Virgin Slag studs. Lots of lots for a little, we B Boxed in the middle of Bucksville.
WANT TO LEARN how to most naturally place the Bob Marley posters, lava lamps, potted plants, tie-dye sheets, wind chimes, stereo speakers and steel drums in your too cool home? Learn Frank Schway's Funk Shui Way to create a natural flow way fo yo funky vibes and yo 50 bucks to Flow B, Bucksville.
Atheistic Religious Training. Miss the mystery of the musicons of your grandfather's chruch? Tired of worshiping maudlin Murray's old hair? Gno that atheism does not prove the non-existance of God, and learn the non-dogmatic dogma and religious non-rites of Gnonology, Nonery B, Bucksville.
CONTRACTOR'S FROSTING, Carp Tires, solar raincoats, Pocket Fisher-of-Men, Spiritual MBA's, pseudo dodo dough, Scorn Chips, hula bricks, low stress and less. Raise your satisfaction by lowering your expectations and shop by slodem at the SubElectronic Box B, Bucksville.
Do words bug you? Ever have a strange word crawl around in your head and make your brain itch? If you need to scratch that itch try the Entomological Etymology of Eruditic Esoteric English available only at the bodacious and loquacious Box B, Bucksville.
THINKERS: Ever come up with unanswerable questions or unquestionable answers? If you have unquestioned answers, I have the unasked questions! If you have unknown questions, I have unknowable answers. Remember, regardless of what doesn't happen there is always someone who knew it wouldn't, and I know you know that you and everybody else you know won't question why you'll send 50 Bucks to Box B, Bucksville.
Technology will catch up with church. Future collection baskets will be replaced by the TitheTron 2000, a portable ATM that will deduct 10 percent of the penitent's bank account when they insert their Jesus is Lord and Master Card. The TitheTron 2000 is simply hooked on a metal rail on the back of the pew in front of you and glides smoothly from one end to the other.
When you see your neighbor struggling, help him dump his load, and don't go mistaking paradise for incinerators on the road. Excretorium B, Bucksville.
Need to flush potty mouth? Want answer to questionable breath? Tidy Mouth Trenchwash will make bad breath the least of your worries, like you need more to worry about. We worry that your 50 bucks is not in the mail to Box B, Bucksville.
GOOD USED BUCKETS. If you are not real particular about the condition of the bucket you kick consider Lucky Chucket's Good Used Buckets. From once-kicked to bucket-like, platinum to paper, you can afford to have one in every room and car. Making your choices while you are still alive, we are Bucket O, Bucksville.
Target Semaphore Sales has ice reversal kits, liquid work, rat diapers, clock erasers, book painters, shovel staples, radio mirrors, computer anchors, and a pencil repair & service department. Come buy now for NEW giant 2 by 3 inch black & white Color TV! This weak only at Box B, Bucksville.
WANT TO ATTRACT investors interested in oceanside resorts. I am Sunny Ray and I own sunny beaches that add up to franchisable condos, country clubs and restaurants under my name. If you got some bucks to resort to, send them to Sum Sunny Beachs at Bucksville, Box B.
rhenry 11/5/96